i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
