mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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