They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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