i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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