That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Boobs speak an international language.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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