she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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