It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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