They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
