Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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