I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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