i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
