so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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