This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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