Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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