Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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