If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
