No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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