It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
