I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
