We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
