hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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