The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
