My friends, they love my intelligence
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
