New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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