This is not my ceiling
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
