Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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