I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
