Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
