like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
