That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
