How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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