please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
