so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My balls are so social today.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
