one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
