also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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