The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
