Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
