I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
