Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
