I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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