i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
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