I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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