Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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