I'm really into asian looking animals
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
