wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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