You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Nicole vs. Life
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
