my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
this boner is exhausting
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
