Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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