check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
