i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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