please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
