Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
