I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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