your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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