Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize