:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
