wat bout pragnant strippers??
it was like his penis was on wheels.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
