I wanna passion pit in your ass
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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