Whod you bang
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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