I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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