So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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