I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
