I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
