Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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