Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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