can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
