i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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