i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
