butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize