So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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